World's Greatest Laundry Bag

Before the World's Greatest Laundry bag, I used an old plastic Ikea bag I purchased for fifty cents. The handle tore at the plastic, the bag itself caught on corners and doorknobs until tiny tears grew into big holes, and before too long, I had to resort to shoving my clothes into a garbage bag. I lugged my laundry to the cleaners with two hands to holding the bottom of the bag. It made me look more like a hobo than any sort of gentleman. Of course the bag would open, or tear, or fall out of my hands at some point during my half mile walk to the laundromat. My clothes would spread across the sidewalk, and I'd frantically pick up my dirty socks before the neighbors noticed. I'm sure many men find themselves in similar situations. Luckily, the Owen & Fred Team constructed a laundry bag guaranteed to keep your clothes off the filthy streets.

The World's Greatest Laundry Bag started with a list of requirements we knew men would want.

First, it had to be big, real big. We know men. We know it takes it takes men at least a month to get the motivation to drag their laundry to the nearest washing machine. We know they're going to wait until every last sock and shirt is worn (probably more than once), and then they're going to go shirtless for a day just to see if they can. And when they finally decide to do their laundry, their going to have more clothes then they know what to do with. A man needs a big ass bag to hold all of it. That was requirement number one, and look at this baby- it literally fits a small child and still has ample room.

Second, we wanted the bag to lock in the smell of a man. We weren't thinking about the cool fall days where a man is comfortable in a light sweater, having a sweet romantic walk with his lady through a orange and golden park. No, we were thinking of that hot and humid summer day when the A/C just shorted, and you've been lifting boxes up two flights of stairs, and the night before you ate six cloves of raw garlic and now your sweat smells like the back alley dumpster of Tony's Pizzeria on 1st Ave. We wanted a bag to keep that sweat soaked outfit's stench to roam nowhere but in the confines of the bag. We didn't want that smell waking you up at 4 in the morning before a big work day. So we made our bag out of 10 oz natural army duck canvas. That's like a stray jacket for odors. Then we used black climbing rope to close the top. That garlic stench is going to have a hell of a time finding its way out of this bag. 

Third, we wanted a bag that could be dragged from your apartment to the nearest cleaners without breaking halfway. We didn't want it snagging on a fire hydrant, tearing open, and making your clothes look like some kind of urban version Hansel and Gretel's trail home. So we used large brass grommets at the top of the bag to support the climbing rope. And like we said, this is natural army duck canvas, it's like flexible steel holding your clothes. It's going to take a lot more than a little prick to cut this bag open. It's going to take some hefty sheers and determination. 

The rope is long enough so you can toss it over your shoulders and let the bag rest on your back. But, in all honesty, you could probably drag this baby on the hard cement sidewalks of New York City and it wouldn't even flinch.

Last, we knew to get a man to start his laundry, he'd need a little motivation. That's why we found fine men in Brooklyn to screen print a great reminder front and center on this bag. "You Will Feel Great When This Is All Done." Because you do. When you're placing, fresh folded laundry into your dresser drawers, you feel like a king. You can't help it, nothing feels better than having all your socks, boxers, shirts, and pants, smelling like a fresh mountain creek. 

We didn't call this bag The World's Greatest Laundry Bag because we thought it just okay. Stop kidding yourself, this baby has got it all. So stop hesitating and pick one of these beautiful duck canvas bags up today, and we promise, you'll feel great when your laundry is all done.

 

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